Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
