no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
