i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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