You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
