..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
