Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
