How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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