She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
