I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
