is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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