Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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