we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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