please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
