Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
