Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
