he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Randomize
