The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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