I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
