All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
