Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
