So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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