I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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