wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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