I'm gonna have a badass scar
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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