He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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