My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
