It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
