Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
