It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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