I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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