So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
