It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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