umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
