i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize