Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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