and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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