Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
