idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
