what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
