I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
