Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
pray to the hookup gods
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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