it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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