he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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