So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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