Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
