it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
