I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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