Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
