White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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