Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
last night I used snow as a chaser
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
