what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
