"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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