Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
