Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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