i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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