highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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