I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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