Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
