i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
