i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
