Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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