He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
